Doublethink

Two things to talk about, I suppose. The first is a sort of rethink of my future. I mean...as much as I love the whole filmmaking thing, the more I think about it the more I want to go to medical school and study psychiatry. I don't know how that would fit into my transient lifestyle...maybe it wouldn't...maybe that's the point. Maybe I want to settle down in New York City catch a lot of culture and have a steady paycheck and a challenging, rewarding job that allows me to have some structure and predictability to my life. That doesn't sound like me...but I really like the idea of wearing a labcoat.

On Friday we went to do this lab at University of Rochester and I just kept on thinking about how cool it would be to be an intern at a hosptial...and then do my residency...and blah blah blah. Maybe it's because of all the Scrubs and ER I've been watching lately. I don't know. I'm not done with the filmmaking thing...but maybe I've got a second career in mind for when I get tired out from moving around so much. I really need to stop planning things so far ahead. I knew I wanted to go to NYU and study film when I was like four and now I'm already disillusioned by it. How sad.

What was the other thing to say? Oh. Yes. We've been doing all these debates in English class over the last few days and they're getting me really, really frustrated. It makes me angry to think that people feel this way. I like to be sympathetic and open-minded (or at least give that impression) but I can't understand people that are for things like capital punishment but are against mercy killing and abortion. There are times where I go as far to think that a really moral person should let himself be killed stubbornly standing by pacifism. When people tell me that we had to go to war as a preventitive measure I wonder if I'd think it was just to go into a defensive war. Are there good reasons for killing someone? I don't know...I'm not saying I wouldn't defend myself...what I am saying is that it wouldn't be ethical to kill a man to save my life. So...I'd be in the wrong, defending myself. There are lots of things we feel we have to do even though they're wrong. That doesn't make them any less wrong. I feel that murder is the same thing.

While I'm up here on my high horse, I guess I'll take a second to talk about my frustrations about world hunger. Whenever people tell me that the United States is the greatest nation on the planet I get this disgusted feeling in my stomach. How can there be an obesity epidemic on one side of the planet and a hunger epidemic on the other? What's so great about us? We over indulge ourselves and ignore problems outside of our communities? We use our religions to defend the things we want and ignore the parts that make life less comfortable for us? Murder is wrong when it involves the unborn baby of a rape victim or when someone is dying of a painful terminal disease, but it's fine and dandy when our beautiful country is in danger? These are the qualities of the greatest nation on the planet? I don't remember the part of the Bible that ammended the Ten Commandments to allow wartime killing. I must've skimmed over that part too quickly.

Dismount.