Red

This is weird. Practice was relatively short today in the sense that it ended at 7 o'clock instead of 9. So, here I am, just wrote an essay for English class and it's not even 9 now. Normally I'd be just getting out of practice and then we'd be going out somewhere to eat. I'd get home at 10 or 11, do some homework then, watch a movie and fall asleep. Netflix got messed up by a day (I forgot to put one in the mailbox a few days ago) so now I don't even have a movie to watch. I'm going to bed! This rocks!

Today was relatively uneventful. Had a biology test, which went more or less okay. I'm so glad to be done with botany. I think we're on to zoology now. I was just thinking today that I'm glad I have one difficult class or my ability to work on academic stuff would be totally gone for next year. I said that in class, but I think Mr. Borland took it the wrong way. Maybe.

I got my financial aid stuff for Geneseo today. It's pretty much the same price as Wells, and, therfore, slightly more expensive than Fredonia. I want to hear about NYU. I'm tired of waiting. I can't wait until April. I want to know now. I've been trying out this karma thing (trying to be nicer to people and relax more) but it's just ending up making me angrier than I usually am. The end result is worse than the original problem, I guess. I was just hoping to get myself some bonus points to use on financial aid. The only thing my Dad and I ever talk about is money for college. It's annoying. I need to save money from Chicago and Florida too. Sweet...at least I'm expanidng my horizons, right?

Musical is weird. Some things are getting better for me and some things are getting worse. I don't know what to say. I want some attention. I want some real feedback from the directors. I want to know what I'm doing wrong and what I'm doing right. Something besides "pacing" and "diction." I can fix that. I know how to fix that. It just takes a little focus and it's fine. I need real feedback. I want to do well and everything. I'm probably a perfectionist so I'm trying to make every line exactly right, but even then it won't be as seemless and I want it to be. And let's not even get started on the physicality. I hate theatre. It's hard. It's too fast. Too live. It's must harder to direct yourself.

Gyah! We'll see. Next week will be better. I'll focus. I'm really at the point where I need things to move forward. I need some more energy. I'm pretty much tapped. I need some of that crazy collective cast energy and I can't wait until opening night because it'll be too late to experiment. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Maybe sleep will fix all my problems.

And I got hit in the head with a giant rubber mallet. Damn.