"Secondly, good byes can suck me."

Firstly, the Guster concert was very good. I enjoyed the set list immensely. It was a mixture of the songs I actually like on the new albums and, literally, my top ten, fifteen songs overall. I couldn't have asked for a better selection.

Secondly, good byes can suck me.

Oh, fuck it. I'm going to miss Eric. A lot, probably. I miss Tony a ton, so I imagine it will be the same for Eric. While I resolutely refuse to indulge myself by describing the situation as indescribable, I do find my writing prowess well matched. I miss the office. I miss hanging out during lunch, teaming up on Kevin, listening to classical music, eating hummus, planning revenge on soda thiefs, and the innumerable antics this year and the many past years brought. I miss random tangents in Biology class that even Mr. Borland couldn't ignore. I miss, desperately, creative writing and mystery fiction last year.

It's going to be so goddamn foreign not seeing that kid around. Where the hell am I going to get my obscure, useless news from? Whose going to sneak onto a cruise ship and eat dessert off abandoned tables? Oh, it's so goddamn ridiculous. This is the big flaw in the plan, I guess. It always seemed like a good idea to have a small tight-knit group of friends and forsake acquaintances in exchange for more focused time with individuals, but this half of it never occured to me. It's easy to say good bye to an acquaintance, a passing relation, but I've been chilling with Eric for goddamn ever. My brain keeps telling me that he's leaving for Arizona in a couple of days, but it doesn't seem to connect. When I try to picture what next year's going to be like I just get a flash of past images instead. I remember in freakin' third grade when Eric and Dan didn't get along and I had to sneak around trying to be both their friends. I keep seeing that rusty firetruck in the playgrond.

In my yearbook Eric said, and I'm quoting this loosely because I'm ridiculously lazy when it comes to actually typing something up verbatim, that our "crazy adventure" wasn't over yet, so it seemed sort of useless to say good bye. I don't know, though, I keep on thinking of the next few years as sort of a riptide or some shit, a fast-paced river or whatever. I may see Eric in passing from time to time, but never with the consistency that I would like. We're all about to be swept away into new stages that are not nearly as connected to our past as we'd all like. That's how I feel about it. I don't want my current friends to be reduced to my childhood friends. I don't want to write about them in a memoir in forty years from now, referring to them as those people that shaped me into a young adult. I want to refer to them as the people that stuck around for fucking forever. 'Til I got sick of them. Damn it.

Blah blah blah, I'm excited for school, yea. I've been excited for everything my whole life, though. This is nothing new. I'm not excited for the sharp decrease in psuedo-criminal antics and partaking in activities just for a "good story." I've always liked experiencing things alongside Eric. It always assures interesting commentary. Hopefully I won't set off any cliche-detectors, but whatever flaws and hardships and shit -- they made for a fun time in the long run. I may have complained a lot, a lot at the time, but it always seemed worth it -- whatever we did -- eventually. Or even if it wasn't worth it there were enough jokes to make the time pass quickly.

I'll probably have to expand on this when Kevin leaves. And Dan, of course Dan. I'm not sure if I'll be able to write much of anything about Dan leaving. That'll just suck, suck so bad there won't be anything to say. That's the longest story of them all and there's not way to do it justice at all. Not with language, though I give language a lot of credit (Damn, that was a psuedo-clever way of saying "words can't describe how I feel").

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck. This is so not cool. This is the least cool occurence ever. Oh, and Eric? We never snuck into the sewer outside of school. So yea.